{"id":9559,"date":"2018-01-15T10:15:32","date_gmt":"2018-01-15T10:15:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/?p=9559"},"modified":"2018-01-16T04:36:48","modified_gmt":"2018-01-16T04:36:48","slug":"greucenii-salilor-de-fitness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/?p=9559","title":{"rendered":"Greucenii s\u0103lilor de fitness"},"content":{"rendered":"

Exist\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 mul\u021bi oameni, femei cu prec\u0103dere, care cred c\u0103 \u00een s\u0103lie de fitness exist\u0103 o specie\u00a0anume\u00a0<\/em>fa\u021b\u0103 de care e bine s\u0103 iei distan\u021b\u0103, chit c\u0103 asta poate s\u0103 \u00eensemne \u0219i distan\u021b\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 de orice sport. \u00centr-un fel, \u0219i eu o credeam cu mul\u021bi ani \u00een urm\u0103; lucru care m-a f\u0103cut s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eendept atunci c\u0103tre orele de grup (aerobic, spinning etc.), unde nimeni n-are timpi mor\u021bi, cu at\u00e2t mai pu\u021bin r\u0103sf\u0103\u021bul de a privi peisajul din proximitate.<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd \u00eentrebi o femeie ce o re\u021bine s\u0103 mearg\u0103 la sala de fitness ( for\u021b\u0103 sau fitness – practic, cele dou\u0103 se contopesc ca spa\u021biu \u00een s\u0103lile mari), \u00ee\u021bi r\u0103spunde \u00eencurcat c\u0103 \u00eei e ru\u0219ine, c\u0103 n-are chef s\u0103 se holbeze unii la fundul ei. Aceasta face parte din categoria celor care sigur nu o urm\u0103resc pe Kim Kardashian pe Twitter, altminteri, nu v\u0103d ce inhibi\u021bii ar avea.<\/p>\n

Din descrierile pe care le prime\u0219ti, completate cu propriile-\u021bi imagini, despre reprezentan\u021bii speciei mai sus amintite, \u021bi se contureaz\u0103 rapid un tip de mobilier foarte \u00eenc\u0103p\u0103tor, \u00eenalt \u0219i lat, cu bra\u021bele dep\u0103rtate de corp, at\u00e2rn\u00e2nd precum v\u00e2slele unei b\u0103rci care \u0219i-a pierdut \u00een larg pescarul. Ace\u0219tia, dup\u0103 c\u0103lc\u0103tur\u0103, par s\u0103 vin\u0103 de foarte departe, pentru c\u0103 au un mers aproape metodic, dat de greaua misie de a nu muta st\u00e2ngul p\u00e2n\u0103 ce piciorul drept n-a plonjat mult \u00eenainte, ferm \u0219i ap\u0103sat, mu\u0219c\u00e2nd din asfalt. O alt\u0103 caracteristic\u0103 ar fi pieptul\u00a0en avant,\u00a0<\/em>urm\u0103torul\u00a0<\/em>care \u00ee\u021bi sare \u00een ochi dup\u0103 c\u0103lc\u0103tura. Priveli\u0219tea pectoralilor poate fi \u00eenc\u00e2nt\u0103toare \u0219i de-a dreptul de invidiat, dac\u0103 ai fi posesoarea unei cupe de doar 75 B, f\u0103r\u0103 push-up\u2026. Privirea insist\u00e2nd s\u0103 urce spre g\u00e2t, va descoperi grumazul gros \u0219i d\u00e2rz, ca al unui lupt\u0103tor roman bine hr\u0103nit \u0219i c\u0103lit. Capul, de preferin\u021b\u0103 ras (sau doar cu c\u00e2\u021biva \u021bepi\u0219ori \u00een cre\u0219tet), \u00een\u0103spre\u0219te tabloul, indiferent de culoarea ochilor \u2013 verzi sau alba\u0219tri.<\/p>\n

Reprezentan\u021bii acestei specii, pe care o voi numi \u00een continuare greuceanus for\u021bosus domesticus,<\/em> nu sunt solitari; \u00eentotdeauna au unul sau mai mul\u021bi companioni, de obicei, sub valoarea fizica a liderului informal. Ace\u0219tia sunt masculii dominan\u021bi, care acapareaz\u0103 o parte a s\u0103lii, cea hard, acolo unde ganterele sunt mai mari, halterele mai multe \u0219i mai cornute \u2013 vorba baladei . Ace\u0219tia, niciodat\u0103, dar niciodat\u0103, nu vor fi v\u0103zu\u021bi pe banda de alergare sau pe biciclet\u0103. O fi, probabil, prea simplu, iar unii chiar se hr\u0103nesc cu chestii grele. Ca \u0219i la parad\u0103, spectacolul e dat de corpul \u00eentreg de armat\u0103, cu tot armamentul din dotare, nefiind locul singuraticilor ne<\/em>ple\u0219uvi. Spa\u021biul din jurul lor se degaj\u0103, aerul se\u2026 rarefiaz\u0103 \u0219i se umple de grumazuri zdravene, bur\u021bi rev\u0103rsate peste maioul mulat, dar asta nu conteaz\u0103 pentru c\u0103, la m\u0103sur\u0103tori, cei importan\u021bi sunt bicep\u0219ii mari – c\u00e2t mai mari – \u0219i umfla\u021bi. Bicep\u0219ii \u0219i pectoralii par s\u0103 fie singurele segmente anatomice care s\u0103 merite osteneala masculilor din specia\u00a0greuceanus for\u021bosus domesticus<\/em>. Restul e pierdere de vreme \u0219i neb\u0103rb\u0103tesc. La ridicarea greut\u0103\u021bilor mai mari, mijlocul este obligatoriu sugrumat \u00a0cu o curea solid\u0103, lat\u0103, precum chimirul lu\u2019 taica Laz\u0103r, ceea ce face \u0219i mai evident\u0103 protuberan\u021ba numit\u0103 burt\u0103.<\/p>\n

Odat\u0103, am aflat din \u00eent\u00e2mplare, deci nu pentru c\u0103 am tras cu urechea, ci pentru c\u0103 eram vecin\u0103 de aparat, c\u0103 posesorul unei astfel de bur\u021bi poate absorbi un volum zilnic de 4 litri de cola (de alte lichide n-a mai spus nimic). Lucru care te duce cu g\u00e2ndul la o linie de \u00eembuteliere \u00een toat\u0103 regula. Compania respectiv\u0103 ar face bine s\u0103 g\u00e2ndeasc\u0103 \u0219i v\u00e2nzarea de bidoane de 10 litri, cum exist\u0103 la dozatoarele de \u00a0ap\u0103; pia\u021b\u0103 exist\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cen ciuda aparentului aspect neanderthalian, oamenii din specia greuceanus for\u021bosus domesticus<\/em>\u00a0sunt pa\u0219nici, politico\u0219i, chiar maniera\u021bi (ok, doar o excep\u021bie nu confirm\u0103 nimic), discre\u021bi \u00een priviri \u0219i chiar t\u0103cu\u021bi, mai ales c\u00e2nd nu ridic\u0103 greut\u0103\u021bi mari \u0219i nu r\u0103cnesc s-o afle toat\u0103 sala (asta dac\u0103 muzica nu url\u0103 ca-n \u2026clubul de noapte). Competi\u021bia se d\u0103 \u00eentre ei \u0219i ceilal\u021bi masculi din sal\u0103, \u00een lipsa pr\u0103zii ancestrale care s\u0103-i m\u00e2ne \u00a0\u00een cete la v\u00e2n\u0103toare. Spiritul atavic a r\u0103mas neatins, s-a schimbat decorul, s-au schimbat \u00abfiarele\u00bb, pericolele nu mai sunt jivinele p\u0103durii, ci diabetul, obezitatea, depresia, iar vila \u0219i \u00eenc\u0103lzirea central\u0103 au luat locul pe\u0219terii.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 ai drum pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 sau prin apropierea s\u0103lii de sport (dac\u0103 ai trecut de una, sigur mai g\u0103se\u0219ti alte dou\u0103-trei pe o raz\u0103 de 1 kilometru; lucru, de altfel, foarte bun), po\u021bi descoperi alte calit\u0103\u021bi ale Greucenilor din s\u0103lile de sport. \u00censo\u021bi\u021bi de neveste, iubite, copii, ace\u0219tia las\u0103 dezvelit\u0103 latura domestic\u0103. C\u0103lc\u0103tura devine ceva mai \u00eenmuiat\u0103, pare c\u0103 nu mai mu\u0219c\u0103 asfaltul, doar \u00eel m\u00e2ng\u00e2ie, umerii sunt u\u0219or cobor\u00e2\u021bi, pieptul \u2013 mai degrab\u0103\u00a0en arri\u00e8re<\/em>, ochii cumva spre p\u0103m\u00e2nt, ca \u0219i cum ar c\u0103uta un obiect pierdut. Privirea de o\u021bel se preschimb\u0103 \u00eentr-una domoal\u0103. Tabloului acestuia familial i se adaug\u0103 \u0219i alte elemente de decor, cum ar fi c\u00e2teva plase de cump\u0103raturi sau tricicleta copilului. Accesoriile de mai sus necadr\u00e2nd cu statura impozant\u0103 dat\u0103 numai de portul gen\u021bii de sport \u0219i de ridicarea sfor\u021bat\u0103 \u0219i r\u0103cnit\u0103 a greut\u0103tilor mari, Greucenii devin aproape oameni obi\u0219nu\u021bi, chiar dr\u0103gu\u021bi. Iar dac\u0103 din pricina lor ocole\u0219ti \u00een continuarea sala de fitness, n-ai idee ce spectacol ratezi….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Exist\u0103 \u00eenc\u0103 mul\u021bi oameni, femei cu prec\u0103dere, care cred c\u0103 \u00een s\u0103lie de fitness exist\u0103 o specie\u00a0anume\u00a0fa\u021b\u0103 de care e bine s\u0103 iei distan\u021b\u0103, chit c\u0103 asta poate s\u0103 \u00eensemne \u0219i distan\u021b\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 de...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,1],"tags":[1311,1312,1313],"class_list":["post-9559","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","category-sport","tag-cine-mai-umbla-prin-salile-de-sport","tag-de-ce-nu-merg-femeile-in-salile-de-forta","tag-de-ce-se-tem-femeile-in-sala-de-fitness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9559","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9559"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9559\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9573,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9559\/revisions\/9573"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9559"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9559"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9559"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}