{"id":4862,"date":"2013-02-11T09:22:56","date_gmt":"2013-02-11T09:22:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/?p=4862"},"modified":"2013-03-01T18:25:08","modified_gmt":"2013-03-01T18:25:08","slug":"noapte","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/?p=4862","title":{"rendered":"Ce mai noapte, madame Dumitra!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dup\u0103 o sear\u0103 teribil de furtunoas\u0103, m-am hot\u0103r\u00e2t: voi intenta un proces r\u0103sun\u0103tor produc\u0103torului piesei \u201dO noapte furtunoas\u0103 – viceversa\u201d<\/strong> pentru uzurpare de imagine. S\u0103 vezi cum devine treaba:<\/p>\n

Subsemna\"Madameta, doamna Dumitra<\/strong>, dichisit\u0103, machiat\u0103, \u00eel luai pe b\u0103rbatu-miu de-un bra\u021b \u0219i hai cu el la teatru. \u0218i copilu \u0103l mic s-a mirat: \u201dda de ce te duci tu la teatru? s\u0103 m\u0103 fac mai d\u0103\u0219teapt\u0103, zic; c\u0103 cu-at\u00e2ta sport se mic<\/em>\u0219oreaz\u0103 sinapsele\u201d<\/em>. Acolo, peste cine dau? Madame Dumitra \u00een persoan\u0103, pe scen\u0103<\/strong>. Eu \u00eembr\u0103cat\u0103 sclipitor, ea la fel. \u0218i i-am zis lu b\u0103rbati-miu s\u0103 m\u0103 lase sa-mi pun botinele alea sclipitoare, da el zice \u201dnu, nu se face la teatru, madame\u201d.<\/em> P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, mi-am pus ceva de lac.<\/p>\n

Bun, ea familist\u0103 convins\u0103, cu onoare – eu, la fel. Madame Dumitra<\/strong> – femeie de afaceri prosper\u0103, eu – pe cale s\u0103…;b\u0103rbat\u0103-su inginer de calculatoare pe la…. altele, al meu la fel – pe la mine. \ud83d\ude09<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ei, asta-i prea de tot! Am r\u00e2s eu p\u00e2n\u0103-am dat \u00een pl\u00e2ns, dar asta-i prea de tot. Ce machiaj, ce \u021binut\u0103. S-au dus naibii. Eram c\u00e2nd pe scen\u0103, c\u00e2nd \u00een sal\u0103. \u00cemi \u00eenghe\u021b\"Chiraa r\u00e2sul ori de c\u00e2te ori striga c\u00e2te cineva la mine: Dumitroooo, madame Dumitraaaa<\/strong> (tot a\u0219a m\u0103 strigau \u0219i pe mine fran\u021bujii c\u00e2nd am fost \u00een Fran\u021ba s\u0103 v\u0103z cu ochii mei turnu Aif\u0103l). Mai era \u0219i una mic\u0103, Spira<\/strong>, care m\u0103 tot dr\u0103cuia\u00a0 p-acolo \u201da dracu rum\u00e2nc\u0103 \u0219i madame Dumitra, cine-a botezat-o Titirc\u0103 inim\u0103 rea!\u201d<\/em>. Auzi, neru\u0219inata! P\u0103, s\u0103 nu-i smulgi p\u0103ru din cap. Bine-i f\u0103cu madame Dumitra<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\"VillyHa!Ha! Apare \u0219i b\u0103rbat\u0103-su, Vily, \u00een halatul pe care-l \u0219tiu de la televizor (\u0219i tot n-am aflat c\u00e2t cost\u0103. Cristi Martin, c\u00e2t e halatu?)<\/strong>. \u201dUnde-ai fost?\u201d<\/em> (p\u0103rea cam obosit \u0219i \u0219tresat). \u201dA, zice, am reparat calculatorul.\u201d<\/em> Exact ca b\u0103rbati-miu. A naibii fatalitate!<\/p>\n

C\u00e2nd \u00eei \u00eentrebi, r\u0103spund: \u201dce vrei, Dumitro, pun o p\u00e2ine pe mas\u0103\u201d<\/em>; \"Villyal\u0103lalt, Vily (Cristi Martin)<\/strong>: \u201dda tu de ce-ai s\u00e2nge p\u0103 piept? e ketchup, am m\u00e2ncat spaghetti\u201d<\/em>. Am r\u00e2s eu de madame Dumitra,<\/strong> da nu era r\u00e2sul t\u0103u, Dumitro<\/strong>!<\/p>\n

Madame Dumitra<\/strong>, ascult\u0103 aci, ca de la fumeie la fumeie: pune-i drag\u0103 o bavet\u0103. Pata (care i se pusese \ud83d\ude09 ) era cam mare.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Villy\u0218i dup\u0103 ce c\u0103 era \u0219tresat, hop \u0219i fufa de Rita s\u0103-l \u00eembrobodeasc\u0103 pe la spate cu e\u0219arfa ceea ro\u0219ie, de m\u0103tas\u0103. \u0218i el nu \u0219i nu! Hi,hi,hi!<\/em> \u00cei g\u00e2dil\u0103 fata bibelourile<\/em>, el \u00eei tot d\u0103dea cu niznaiu. De unde s\u0103 \u0219tie madame Dumitra<\/strong> \"Villy(altminteri vigilent\u0103 \u0219i degrab\u0103 apuc\u0103toare de p\u0103r), ocupat\u0103 cu inspec\u021bia magazinelor sale, c\u0103 lu b\u0103rbat\u0103-su, pap\u0103toatespaghetti-le<\/strong><\/em>, \u00eei umbl\u0103 cineva la hard disk: \u201dia-\u021bi biciul \u0219i c\u00e2nt\u0103 Plugu\u0219oru-n alt\u0103 parte\u201d,<\/strong><\/em> \u00eei zice Vily cel virusat<\/strong>\u00a0 pasionalei Rita dup\u0103 ce se v\u0103zu desc\u0103tu\u0219at din dulcea \u0219i apetisanta str\u00e2nsoare<\/strong>. Sanchi! \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

\u0218i Zizi, s\u0103racul, ce mai patim\u0103 pe el!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Zizi<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00cen fine, am r\u00e2s de-am pl\u00e2ns p\u00e2n\u0103 am f\u0103cut bube-n col\u021burile \"Esarfaochilor. Uf, bine c\u0103 treaba s-a clarificat. P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, \u0219i posesoarea e\u0219arfei ro\u0219ii, alta dec\u00e2t cea a Ritei, a sc\u0103pat basma curat\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u00cen rest, o comedie modern\u0103 \u00een care femeile fac legea, cu mijloace moderne de comunicare – \u201dbi\u0219on \u0219i aifon\u201d<\/strong> – , replici spumoase, spontane, \u0219i al naibii de actuale, pe ici pe colo c\u00e2teva\u00a0 tu\u0219e groase, exact c\u00e2t trebuie – nu mai mult. Aproape 2 ore de spectacol a la<\/em> Caragiale \u00eentr-un registru ustur\u0103tor de contemporan.\"NoapteViceversa013\"<\/p>\n

Acum s\u0103 nu \u00een\u021belege\u021bi c\u0103 hot\u0103r\u00e2rea mea de a intenta proces se va schimba. A\u0219tept public scuze! P\u0103i, onoarea mea? \u0218i cu numele uzurpat, \u0219i cu machaiajul \u0219tes. O fi bine, domnu Martin, o fi bine? \ud83d\ude42 \ud83d\ude42 \ud83d\ude42 \ud83d\ude42
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Mul\u021bumesc Cristi \u0219i Irinel\u00a0 Martin pentru o sear\u0103 senza\u021bional\u0103, numai la Muzeul \u021a\u0103ranului Rom\u00e2n!<\/strong><\/p>\n

P.S. Dau s\u0103 m\u0103 plec \u0219i vine o doamn\u0103 la mine:<\/em> \u201dAuzi\u021bi, de la ce ziar sunte\u021bi?\u201d<\/em>
\n Cine m-o fi tr\u0103dat?
\n<\/em><\/p>\nngg_shortcode_0_placeholder\n

\u00cen distribu\u021bie:<\/strong>
\nMadam Dumitra (Jup\u00e2n Dumitrache) \u2013 Mihaela Cove\u0219eanu
\nVily (Veta) \u2013 Cristian Martin
\nZizi (Zi\u021ba) \u2013 Iulian Ilinca
\nChira (Chiriac) \u2013 Veronica Popescu
\nRita Venturiano (Ric\u0103 Venturiano) \u2013 Alexandra Timofte \/ Anca Olteanu
\nCoana Nina (Nae Ipingescu) \u2013 Claudia Croitoru
\nSpira (Spiridon) \u2013 Smaranda G\u0103budeanu \/ Daria Lupu<\/p>\n

Spectacolul se joac\u0103 la sala Studio Horia Bernea a Muzeului Na\u021bional al \u021a\u0103ranului Rom\u00e2n.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dup\u0103 o sear\u0103 teribil de furtunoas\u0103, m-am hot\u0103r\u00e2t: voi intenta un proces r\u0103sun\u0103tor produc\u0103torului piesei \u201dO noapte furtunoas\u0103 – viceversa\u201d pentru uzurpare de imagine. S\u0103 vezi cum devine treaba: Subsemnata, doamna Dumitra, dichisit\u0103, machiat\u0103,...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[259,314,313,258,316,315],"class_list":["post-4862","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal","tag-actorul-cristi-martin","tag-actrita-alexandra-timofte","tag-actrita-veronica-popescu","tag-o-noapte-furtunoasa-viceversa","tag-spira-spiridon-actrita-smaranda-gabudeanu","tag-zizi-zita-actorul-iulian-ilinca"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4862","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4862"}],"version-history":[{"count":36,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4862\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4890,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4862\/revisions\/4890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dumitra.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}